This Complicated Life
by shaneequa
Summary: College AU. Clint and Natasha have been dancing around a relationship since her freshman year. But circumstances have changed with Clint's deployment and Natasha's move to New York forcing them to re-assess their relationship. (Gift for Black Widow and Hawkeye OTP).
1. Chapter 1

Title: This Complicated Life  
Author: Shaneequa  
Rating: Mature  
Disclaimer: I don't own anything.  
Summary: College AU. Clint and Natasha have been dancing around a relationship since her freshman year. But circumstances have changed with Clint's deployment and Natasha's move to New York forcing them to re-assess their relationship. (Gift for Black Widow and Hawkeye OTP).  
Author's Note: Like the summary says, this was a gift for Black Widow and Hawkeye OTP. I usually ask my loyal reviewers for prompts. The chapters will be posted after I send them for her to read so she gets them exclusively. If any of you have prompts, please free to PM them to me! On a side note, I've been dying to write a college/military AU so this is what happened.

Original Prompt: "the girls have been noticing Natasha staring at Clint longingly, the guys dont notice but the girls aren't so oblivious. ;) So maybe they try to help Natasha get the courage to ask him out or they try to get Clint to ask Natasha out? or they try jealousy?" from Black Widow and Hawkeye OTP

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Chapter 1- Beginning of the End

For all intents and purposes, college was supposed to be the time to be promiscuous and go out clubbing every single night before your late twenties catch up to you and all you want to do is take a nap. Natasha, a recent defector, felt that all her life had been spent doing that for one mission or another and all she really wanted to do was take a good long nap in her room at the house that she shared with Pepper, Maria, and Jane.

It was almost 9pm when she walked through the door after a brutal eight hour work shift at the cafe. She was exhausted, it was Friday and everyone seemed to just want to get the day over with to move onto their weekend. Lucky for most of them, they don't have to work weekends like Natasha did.

The redhead walked through the door, the lights throughout the living room was on and she could hear the boys arguing about something. Of course Thor, Tony, and Clint would be at the house. It seemed as though they were just alternating on the days when the boys would be at their house, or the girls (dragging Natasha) would be over at the boys' place.

"Hey Tasha!" Clint greeted her as she walked past the living room where the boys where playing some video game. Tony had bought both houses a set of all the latest game consoles and a copy of the best games out there. That was what happened when the STARK name was involved.

"Hey guys," she smiled at them heading straight to the kitchen, the aroma of Pepper's cooking enticing her. Pepper always cooked on Mondays. It was why the boys were always at their place on Mondays.

"Hey Tasha!" Pepper smiled in the kitchen. Maria and Jane were sitting at the breakfast nook both with a glass of wine in their hands. "How was work?"

"It was alright," Natasha sighed. "I have work at the office tomorrow, so I'm gonna go to sleep early tonight."

The girls groaned.

"You always go to bed early," Maria pointed out. "I need you to let loose a little."

"I'll let loose next year," Natasha replied dipping a finger into the sauce that Pepper was stirring. She sucked on her finger, hearing someone groan in the background. "After I graduate."

"What about graduating?" Clint asked leaning on the doorframe that led to the living room.

"Nat was saying that she was going to let loose after graduation," Jane spoke up filling in Clint earning a glare from Natasha.

Clint walked into the kitchen and leaned on the counter behind Natasha, leaning over her to take a taste of the pasta sauce earning him a slap on the hand from Pepper.

"Stop it you two," Pepper scolded them shooing them from near the stove and to the other side of the wrap around breakfast nook. "Stay there or you both don't get dinner."

"Yes mom," Clint and Natasha said in unison.

Clint led Natasha out of the kitchen by her waist to the other side where Pepper wanted them to be.

"So what is this about you 'letting loose' after graduation?" Clint asked her leaning back on the breakfast nook. He did that a lot, the leaning thing, Natasha noted. She also noted how well it made his arms look.

"Nothing," Natasha said shaking her head not wanting to get into it, shooting the girls around her a glare.

"Well you are the youngest of the pact," Clint stated ignoring her. "You should... you know, hurry up and graduate; join us in the real world."

"I have a semester left," Natasha replied rolling her eyes. She was graduating after the fall semester and had a job lined up in Manhattan. Natasha knew that she was the only one of their pact to leave Los Angeles and the 365 days of sunshine it offered but she loved New York.

"I know, " Clint muttered. "Then you're off to New York, leaving us peasants behind."

"Clint..." she sighed shaking her head.

He turned to leave again walking to the living room where Jane and Maria had gone off to while they were talking in the kitchen.

"Clint, wait," Natasha called out to him, but he didn't turn or acknowledge her.

Natasha took the wine bottle and filled her glass up taking a swift drink leaving a third of the wine she poured left in the glass.

"You should give him a chance," Pepper pointed out as she took out plates from the cupboards and onto the nook for Natasha to set the table.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Natasha said taking the plates and setting the table with placemats then the plates on top of them. Pepper came to her side with the utensils setting them up nicely.

While they were college students (and recent graduates), it did not mean that they would eat ramen and take outs every day.

"You know exactly what I'm - " Pepper cut off. She threw her head back into the direction of the living room and yelled, "Jane! Maria!"

The two women stumbled in the kitchen laughing and walked up to Pepper.

"You need help, Pep?" Maria asked her putting down her wine glass with a smile.

"Intervention is now," Pepper stated nodding her head over at Natasha as a signal.

"They're outside," Jane stated with a groan. "You think it's a good idea now?"

"We can't keep putting it off," Pepper replied.

Natasha looked between her friends with a frown. She had no idea what they were talking about.

"Can you stop talking about me while I'm here?"

Jane took the wine bottle and refilled everyone's glasses. "We're going to need it."

"So what is this about?" Natasha asked taking a seat on the dining table. The other three took a seat as well.

"You," Pepper started.

"And Clint," Jane added causing Natasha to groan.

"Seriously? We've been on this topic for like four years now!" Natasha argued with them trying to stand up, but Maria held her down. She could have easily escaped her hold but she didn't.

"And we're still on it coz you still give him damn googly eyes," Maria stated, "it's been four years you'd think you'd do something about it!"

"I can't - Bobbi and..."

"That was two years ago," Jane added. "Besides, he makes the same damn eyes at you."

"Especially when you talk about New York," Pepper continued.

"That doesn't count, you all get sad when I talk about New York," Natasha pointed out.

"As long as you know that we're all against it," Maria smiled. "And don't change the subject, we've all decided that you should ask Clint out."

Natasha rolled her eyes.

"You know you can't make me do anything," Natasha replied. Stubborn as she was, she always did what she chose to do. They had to sedate her and carry her to take her to the piercing shop so she could get her cartilage pierce with them.

"We know," the three said in unison.

Natasha chuckled at that. "Look, if he wanted to date me, he would've asked me out but he doesn't - he won't."

"So you ask him out!" Jane exclaimed in the same voice she does when she figured out the answer to a really really complicated physics equation.

"No! I'm not that desp-"

"Hey Pep! Is dinner ready? Do you girls need help?" Tony's voiced rang through the dining room interrupting the girls.

"We're fine, " Pepper called out cutting her eyes.

Thor poked his head into the dining room then bounded into the kitchen.

"I shall finish serving the table," Thor staid taking the large serving plate full of pasta sauce. The other men followed suit and brought the pasta over to the table. The girls changed seats around so they can all sit next to their significant others. Pepper and Tony, Maria and Steve, Thor and Jane, which left Clint and Natasha to sit next to each other.

The conversation took another turn at the table, something about the weekend and possibly going to Disneyland as a group because, hey, why not?

"I can't, I have work," Natasha stated dejectedly.

"But we have season passes and you haven't even used yours up," Clint protested.

"I have to save up for New York," she replied putting her fork down. "You know how expensive it is to live there, and as it is I'm going to have to find new people to live with and..."

"Or you could stay here and live with us still," Jane threw the suggestion out causing everyone to nod their heads in agreement. Jane still had two years left for her Master's Degree that she was taking at UCLA and therefore Thor was staying there with her. Thor, the heir of a large shipping company, was able to work on his family company from LA, much to his father's dismay who wanted him back in Europe.

"You should," Clint said nodding his head.

"I can't," Natasha replied. "That's the end of this conversation. Can we all talk about something else?"

"Not until you agree to go to Disneyland with us, " Tony stated.

"I just told you-"

"I know, I'll pay you what you make that whole day, then double it if you go to Disneyland with us," he interjected. His father could afford all that and more, he had even offered Natasha a job at their legal department based in Malibu, but to no surprise, Natasha refused his offer.

"You know I can't do that, Tony," Natasha said shaking his head.

Clint cleared his throat. "Well I have an announcement to make."

The attention went to Clint at that moment.

"What is it, man?"

"I... uh, I got my orders," Clint stuttered. After a year of enlistment, just after he finally got settled into his job, Clint was picked up by the Naval Academy to become an officer. The Special Operations community was lacking officers and his commanders had saw the kid who never missed as a great leader. Clint just went with where he was ordered to be - three square meals a day and a place to sleep was better than anything he had growing up - and after graduating from Annapolis, he was stationed in Coronado where he met Steve who was dating Maria... who lived with Natasha and Pepper.

"And?" Steve asked, an army guy stationed at Coronado as a liaison.

"Well, since I uh, I don't... I'm 3-6-5 deployment."

"What?" "When?" the chorus of voices from his friends sitting around the table replied.

Clint scratched the back of his head, "Tuesday, I'll be packed and ready to go on Tuesday."

The table sat shocked.

"This Tuesday?" Natasha asked in a whisper. She had signed up for shifts until Thursday!

"Yeah," Clint said, his mouth slightly turned in dejection. "I didn't want to ruin the weekend but it seemed like a good time to..."

"Clinton Francis Barton, I sure hope you were not planning to tell us on Monday that you were leaving on Tuesday!" Pepper scolded him.

He shrugged twisting pasta onto his fork.

"For how long?"

"It's a 3-6-5, for now," Clint shrugged.

Natasha sighed. "I'll go to Disneyland tomorrow."

"What?" Clint asked her, her statement seeming random to him.

"Disneyland," Natasha repeated. "I'll call in sick for my jobs this weekend. I... it's your last weekend with us."

"So, last super on Monday night?" Thor suggested, and the conversation drifted off to Clint and his deployment, no longer at Natasha and her future in Manhattan.

The redhead sat quietly beside Clint who responded to questions and threw in comments throughout dinner. She knew about the military lifestyle, had sat down with Clint about it when Bobbi broke up with him because of his dedication to his job. Clint worked late nights on the weekdays, his training seemed never ending but he always found the time to text Natasha good morning and good night regardless of the day or whether she responded or not. Regardless of how busy they both were, they found the time to text each other at least once a day, every day. With his deployment, things were going to change and she didn't know how.

"You okay?" Clint asked her alter that evening. She did come in opting to just fall into bed and sleep but now, she wanted to spend every waking moment she could with Clint. He would be coming back to California while she would be in New York when he came back. This weekend would probably be the last time she saw this man and she didn't know how to feel about that fact.

"I'm okay," she smiled taking a swig of her beer.

"I'm here if you need to talk."

She chuckled, "until Tuesday you are."

He shook his head. "No, Natasha. I'm here if you need to talk, anytime. If I'm over there in the Sand, or if you're in New York. I'll always be just a phone call away."

She sighed. "Somehow I don't believe you."

"You should," he said lifting her chin and turning it so she would meet his gaze. "I promise."

"Promises are for children."

"And so is love," Clint continued for her knowing her thoughts on love and promises. He sighed, running a hand through his hair and letting the ruckus from inside the house fill the silence outside where he and Natasha sat at grass of the small backyard. The others were inside playing a dance game on one of the consoles and laughter was heard all around.

"So this weekend is gonna be the last time I see you," Natasha stared staring at the squirrel that hopped to the fence. "In probably forever. That's why I uh… I wanted to take the weekend off."

"You trying to tell me you're going to miss me, Romanoff?"

"You've been my best friend for a while now, Clint."

Clint's head snapped to look at her surprised. That was the first affirmation she had gotten from Natasha. The ice queen who usually hid her feelings because it was a sign of weakness finally showed him something, something concrete that he could hold onto.

"You know, Tasha," Clint started with a small smile. "My contract with the Marines is up after this deployment."

She nodded her head.

"I don't know if I want to re-new it," he continued looking at the empty space in front of her.

"I…" Natasha sighed. "I think we should talk about this later… you know? I think these last days with you here should be happy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah," she smiled at him giving him a peck on the cheek. She stood up from the ledge they were sitting on and stuck her hand out. "Let's go inside, it's getting cold out here."

He took hold of her hand and allowed her to pull him up. He intertwined their fingers together as they walked back into the house, never letting go, at least for that night.

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Reviews please!

Let me know if you guys like it! If not, this could stand alone as a one-shot :)


	2. Chapter 2

I'm so happy you are all enjoying this! I've finished writing this story so updates should come in regularly (every three or four days if I don't get caught up with RL).

Thanks for all the support! Happy reading!

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Chapter 2 - The Last Weekend

Natasha woke up in Clint's arms, naked as the day she was born. She turned over to her nightstand where she turned her phone on to see what time it was. Shit. It was 8 am, they were supposed to go to the park by 9 for the full day experience.

"Clint," Natasha nudged him on his bad shoulder knowing it would shoot pain in his system. She learned early on in their non-relationship-relationship that it was the sure way of waking him up.

When he didn't budge, she pressed harder, feeling slightly guilty about it., but laughing when he snapped awake.

"Damn it, Nat," he muttered rubbing his injured shoulder. "I asked you not to do that again."

"But it's just so much fun," she smiled at him walking to her dresser and pulling on some clothes. She slowly got up from the bed and walked towards her with a smile, stealing a kiss as she put a bra on.

"You need to get dressed," she muttered against his lips.

He shook his head and pulled her closer, "make me."

She shoved him away playfully bending down to the bottom most drawer of her dresser and pulling out his Mickey shirt, the one that matched the Minnie shirt that she was planning to throw on. Clint bought them those shirts the first time that they went to Disneyland, of course it was right after making her watch all the movies that pertained to his favorite rides that he insisted she go on.

"I don't have pan-" Clint started but got cut off when she threw him a pair of cargo shorts followed by some socks. He had a drawer full of clothes in her place, just as she had one in his. Yet, Natasha was insistent that what they had did not constitute a romantic relationship.

As Clint changed, Natasha went to her attached bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth to get ready for the trip.

"You better brush your teeth, Clinton Barton," she told him, toothpaste in her mouth.

"Or what?" he replied from the bedroom.

"No kisses," Natasha said after spitting and rinsing, passing Clint on his way to her bathroom where, yes he did keep a toothbrush.

"Got it, gonna brush away," he stated.

Natasha reappeared beside him putting on a quick layer of mascara and eye liner and taking her sunblock from the valet.

"You're putting this in your pocket," she ordered him. "I don't want to burn."

"Yes ma'am," he said giving her a mock salute as he finished brushing his teeth. "You think they're all ready?"

"Pep texted me that they're all downstairs eating breakfast a minute ago," Natasha replied pulling her phone off the charger.

Natasha and Clint headed downstairs where the gang was already seated around the dining room table, Thor munching loudly on some pancakes.

"Well, well, look who finally decided to show up," Tony stated placing attention on Clint and Natasha. "And they're matching! How cute!"

"Tony!" Pepper stated kicking him under the table.

"It's good for you to join us," Maria smirked at Natasha. Natasha rolled her eyes at her dark haired friend as she took a seat next to Clint who handed her the plate of bacon.

It was agreed upon that they would take the beat up van to Disneyland so that they would all fit, it was Maria's, and she had been driving the van around since she was in high school. They all piled into the van and got to Disneyland breezing through security like all the locals as the tourists lined up and waited for minutes.

"Happiest place on Earth!" Jane exclaimed coming up to the entrance of Disneyland where, as locals, they also knew which lines they could easily breeze through. Once inside the park, the gang moved to main street.

"Split up and meet back here in three hours?" Tony suggested as per their usual gig. The gang usually split up to explore the park with their significant others first then met up to ride the rides that they all loved.

They all nodded their heads in agreement.

Tony smiled putting a hand out in the circle. "Alright on three, team break!"

Clint put his hand on top on Tony's, the one clutching Natasha's hand which forced Natasha to play along. The other's followed suit.

"One, two three..." Tony counted down.

"Break!" they all responded and laughed, going their separate ways.

Clint turned to Natasha as the other couples dispersed. "So, Miss Romanoff, what do you want to do today?"

"Dole whip," Natasha replied taking his hand in hers again. "Then... it's up to you."

Clint grinned. "Lead the way, my lady!"

They were there until the park closed on midnight, riding rides, eating caramel apples, and just enjoying their last weekend with their friend. With the current situation overseas and the dangerous job that Clint had, they all knew that there was a possibility that the next time they saw him it would be in a casket. They didn't want to think about it, but that was a possibility.

Something that Natasha thought about as the night ended.

They were at the boys' house, sitting at the private beach the boys had in the back of their house. Howard Stark only allowed his son to have roommates, only on the condition that they would still get top of the line everything.

Everyone was around the massive bonfire, drinking and telling stories, but Natasha who had been happier during the day started to become more solemn as time passed by.

"What's wrong?" Clint asked flopping down on the bark next to Natasha.

"It's nothing," she shrugged.

"It's not nothing," he insisted. "Tell me."

"It's just… you'll be busy tomorrow with preparing and all that stuff to leave," she started making sure that no part of her body touches his. She had to start pushing him away, she knew that the chances of seeing him again after the weekend was moot.

"Yeah, probably will be busy until Monday night when we have that dinner."

She nodded her head. "I'll probably never see you after this weekend."

"Tash..."

"It's true, I'm moving to New York and you'll be there… and when you come back… you'll be here and I'll be in New York."

"Look Natasha, will you stop talking like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like I'm not going to fucking see you ever again! You know I would do whatever the fuck I can to –"

"To what? See your old pal, Natasha?" she said, her voice raising a bit. The others looked at them, quieting down.

Clint stood up and grabbed her hand dragging her up. "Hey, excuse us for a moment, alright?"

"Yeah, you do what you want," Tony stated turning his attention back to the group and urging Thor to continue the story he was telling them something about a European animal he referred to as a Bildshnipe.

Clint dragged Natasha away from the group, going more than three hundred yards away. He sat down on the sand and pulled her down with him.

"Now will you tell me what this is about? You know I wouldn't just-"

"Why? Why wouldn't you?" Natasha responded, her arms waiving. "It's not like we're together!"

Clint sighed, running a hand through his hair. "No, it's not like we're together."

"You act like that's… you agreed with me that it would be better this way!"

"No, Natasha, you wanted it this way and I just didn't disagree."

Natasha scoffed, "You have no obligation to talk to me. To keep in touch, why should I believe that you will?"

"I've gone on deployments before," he stated with a sigh. "I've talked to you every waking moment that I could. We talked every fucking day…"

"Yeah, but that was when …"

"When what? When we were friends?!"

"Look, all I'm saying is that..."

Clint shook his head. "No, I get it. I won't fucking bother you ever again."

Clint took off to the bonfire leaving Natasha where they fought.

He walked to the bonfire and grabbed the bottle of Jack in the cooler, forgoing the shot glass. He opened the bottle and took a chug, proceeding to take a chug one after another.

"Whoa buddy, slow down," Steve said stepping up to Clint and putting a hand to the bottle to take it away. He made eye contact with Maria who was not as drunk as Stark or Thor.

"What happened?" Maria asked him looking back where Natasha was still sitting. From her silhouette, she could tell that the other woman her face in her hands.

"Hey man," Clint protested as Steve pulled the bottle from him, spilling some on the sand in the process.

"You need to stop, you're reporting in tomorrow!" Steve berated him.

"Let me have my last night of fun here," Clint stated pulling the bottle from Steve's grasp, but he was too clumsy.

Pepper stepped over to Maria and Jane walked over to them as well whispering in the way that drunk people do.

"What do you think happened?" Pepper whispered to Maria as they turned and looked at Natasha who was dusting the sand off of her as if she wasn't surrounded by sand at the beach. She turned to walk towards them, and Clint saw her at the corner of his eye.

"Sorry to cut this celebration short but… I gotta, uhm," Clint stuttered watching as Natasha's figure came closer. "I gotta go. I gotta report in early as shit tomorrow."

The boys protested as they watched Clint turn and walk towards the house.

"I'll see you all tomorrow!" Clint shouted back at them.

The girls looked over at Natasha who just joined the crew, grabbing the bottle from Steve's hand and drinking straight from the bottle much like Clint had moments before.

"Something definitely happened," Jane said in her drunk whisper to Pepper and Maria. The three ladies nodded and watched as Natasha down the last half of the bottle.

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Reviews please!


	3. Chapter 3

I'm so sorry this is late! I got super promoted and things just got really busy. I hope you guys still like it! The story is pretty much finished.

Thanks for all the support! Happy reading!

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Chapter 3 - The Last Supper

For the last supper on Monday night, Mister Howard Stark rented out part of a fancy LA restaurant and provided Tony with his credit card with instructions of an open bar for Clint's going away. Tony had explained to his father that unlike the one to two month deployments that Clint has had, this would be his first yearlong deployment since they all became friends. Howard who saw Clint as a son he never had wanted Clint to enjoy his last days stateside. That meant reservations to the best restaurant with the open bar, and a VIP room at the best club… also with an open bar.

"Papa Stark hooked it up," Maria stated with a whistle as she walked into the restaurant room.

"Only the best for his other son," Tony stated as he took the seat at the head table only to be shoo-ed by Pepper who insisted that Clint take the head table (only they were seated at a round table).

As the waiters went by and took their orders, the seat that was reserved for Natasha was left empty. Clint didn't say a word about the empty seat beside him, and Pepper insisted that they all move to fill in the empty seat to shift it over to separate Maria and Jane instead.

"Last day of freedom!" Clint stated raising his glass of wine from the table in a toast as their food came out. His eyes wandered to the empty seat.

Maria and Jane looked at each other with a nod. Jane took out her phone and kept It under the table texting Natasha.

Jane - Where are you?

She left the phone in her lap as she started eating so that she could feel when the phone vibrated.

"Anything?" Maria mouthed at Jane from across the empty seat.

She shook her head and put a fork of shrimp into her mouth as her phone vibrated.

Nat – Working. What's up?

Jane shook her head.

"Are you alright, Jane?" Thor asked her when he shook her head.

"Nothing," she said through the food in her mouth. "Nothing's wrong. I… I uh, I bit my tongue."

He nodded his head.

Maria and Pepper looked over at Jane, both women slipping their phones on their laps and subtly typing on it. Their boyfriends always oblivious to what they do in their group chats.

Pepper – What the hell is going on?

Maria – Amen

Jane looked down at her phone and saw the group text with Maria and Pepper notify on her screen.

Jane – Nat says she's working

Maria and Pepper's phones vibrated on their laps. Pepper signaled Maria to look at the text first so that the boys wouldn't be suspicious.

Maria – WTF? Is she serious?

Pepper looked down at her phone subtly as soon as she saw Maria's subtle nod.

Pepper – She can't do that! Clint's devastated.

Jane – I know

The girls looked up and shook their heads. Pepper switched texting screen, a new one for Natasha.

Pepper – Your shift ends at 10. We'll be at the Z club. See you there!

As they all finished their dinner, none of them heard back from Natasha and the girls slipped their phones back into their purses for the night.

The waiter left the bill at the table, the food cleared out and the rest of the group almost drunk from the four thousand dollar bottle of wine that they ordered from dinner and the endless amounts of alcohol that they consumed.

Tony signed the bill then took his phone out of his pocket to make sure that the limousine was outside waiting for them.

"Shall we go to the club, my people?!" Tony exclaimed. Pepper shook her head at her boyfriend who she knew was already tipsy.

"Yes!" Clint said standing up and leading the group out of the private dining room and onto the curb where the limo was waiting.

On the way to the club, Pepper checked her phone for the time and saw a text from Natasha. She sighed hoping that her stubborn friend would change her mind and show her face to the club at least for a few moments.

Natasha – Not gonna ruin the mood.

Pepper sighed.

Pepper – You're ruining the mood by not being here. Just come for like 10 mins. Don't even have to do your hair or anything.

She paused.

Pepper – Please.

She saw that Natasha was typing away.

Natasha – I'll come. But just for 5 mins. I'm beat.

Pepper – Thanks! See you soon!

The limo stopped at the club, the driving coming around to open the door for them. Tony stayed back to tip the driver and told him to meet them at the same club at closing hour while the rest of them walked to the VIP (non) line and gave Tony's name getting admitted straight inside while there was a line that wrapped around the block.

In the VIP booth, they all gathered and ordered drinks, feeling the beat of the music. Jane and Thor were the first to venture into the dance floor on the VIP floor. Clint followed them, then Tony and Pepper.

When Maria and Steve walked over to the dance floor, Natasha just got to the booth.

"Tasha!" Maria exclaimed seeing her red headed friend.

"Hey," Natasha said slowly scanning the crowd. "Where is everyone?"

"Dancing!" Steve exclaimed. "Come dance with us!"

Steve took Natasha's hand and dragged her to the dance floor with a goofy smile on his face. Natasha laughed at the drunk Steve – a rare sight to see because Mr. Straight-laced America rarely got drunk. If anything, that made her night worth it.

She got to the dance floor where she easily spotted Thor who towered over everyone twirling Jane around on the dance floor.

"Lady Natasha!" Thor exclaimed with a smile pulling her with his other hand.

"Hi Thor!" Natasha greeted him as she got twirled on the floor by Thor.

Pepper and Tony approached her on the dance floor too, Pepper crushing her in a warm hug.

"Thank you for coming!" she exclaimed in her friend's ear so that she could be heard over the music.

Natasha smiled. "I'm just here for a little while. I'm tired."

Pepper nodded her head leading her out to the dance floor. At her height, Natasha looked around trying to see Clint. She was at a disadvantage with her small stature, and his average height. She was dancing around with Pepper and Maria when she saw him in the corner of her eye, his arms wrapped around a blonde woman.

She lost the beat for a moment as she stared at him.

The girls followed her line of sight and saw that Clint was all over another woman.

"Tash…" Pepper started, not able to hear her voice through the loud music but her words from her mouth was apparent.

Natasha shook her head and continued on dancing, her eyes closed as if erasing the picture from her memory. As she swayed to the music, Natasha mentally berated herself. She and Clint were friends, and while they occasionally had sex, they were not in any sort of romantic relationship that tied him to her. He could do what, and whoever the hell he wanted, and he deserved to leaving for a year in the desert.

Maria touched her arm to get her back into the land of the living. Natasha opened her eyes to see that she was in a circle with all her friends, minus Clint who she couldn't see on the dance floor anymore. She was the only one in the circle without a man dancing behind her which was fine with her. The less she saw, the better.

"You wanna go get a drink?" Maria said motioning for the VIP table they had reserved for them. Natasha nodded her head gratefully. Boy, did she need a drink!

She let Maria take her hand and lead her to the VIP table where, surprise, Clint was serving the blonde woman a drink

"Hey! Didn't know you could make it!" Clint exclaimed with a smile giving Natasha a quick peck on the cheek. Natasha forced out a smile, smelling the alcohol on Clint and knowing that he was drunk, half wishing that he wouldn't perform well for the blonde he had his other arm wrapped around on.

"Yeah, got off work," she said with a forced smile as she reached for a cup and the bottle of vodka on the table.

"You want me to make you a drink?" Clint offered.

Natasha shook her head, "I can do it myself thanks. Besides, you look like you have your hands full."

Clint nodded his head with a smile leading the blonde out of the booth and following her.

"You alright?" Maria asked her coming close so that she could be heard.

"I'll be fine," Natasha replied. "Weird, that's probably the last time I talk to Clint Barton."

Maria threw her a smile. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry he's acting like that."

"Like what?"

"Like a fucking dumbass," Maria stated taking a sip of her drink and sighed. "Just right."

Natasha poured the red bull in her drink determined to get the night on. She was going to stay out with her friends and enjoy the night, screw that man.

"Let's get the night started!" Natasha said leading Maria out to the dance floor and back to their friends.

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	4. Chapter 4

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Chapter 4 -Separated: Natasha

Clint left that Tuesday as promised and Natasha had plenty of time to think about their relationship and the fact that after everything that has happened, she didn't want Clint to just stop talking to her. She missed him, and at the end of the day, he was her best friend.

She had the number that he used when he's out in wherever-the-hell place they send him, and so she took out her phone and decided to be the bigger person and send him a text message.

Natasha – Hey Clint. Just wanted to say I'm sorry for the way we left things. Hope you got to wherever you're going safely.

Over two months later, Natasha still had not heard from him.

She would have thought about it more had she not overwhelmed herself with shifts at both her jobs, and then school started and she focused on that. Whenever her phone vibrated, she would check it and hope that it was a message from Clint saying that he was alright, but it was never Clint. So, Natasha convinced herself that he was just busy, things were taking a large turn over there (she was also glued to the news hoping beyond hope that she doesn't see Clint on it), that he would hear from her when he was adjusted, and she left it at that.

She expected a lot of things. Clint had been with her for the past four years more or less minus the stunt with Bobbi. Even through that "phase" as they all called it, he would be there for her whenever she needed him to be. So she expected him to be there for her now.

What she wasn't expecting was that he went through with his word of never contacting her again.

And the fact that she seemed to be out of the loop because he talked to everyone else.

The gang was in the dining room on the typical Friday night where Pepper cooked. Tony had his phone out and was taking a picture of the food.

Once they were eating, Tony started laughing pulling his phone from his lap.

"Anthony Stark!" Pepper scolded as he took his phone out for the world to see.

"Look at Clint's face!" Tony laughed passing his phone around. He had sent Clint the Snap Chat of their dinner and Clint responded with a sad face and the caption 'send me some!' holding up a bag of MRE that read "vegetarian lasagna." Tony took a screenshot of the Snap Chat and had it up for everyone to see and pass around the table.

"Your dad saw him last week, right?" Steve asked Tony as he held the phone with Clint's snapchat, then passing it on to the next person. Steve heard about Stark's new demonstration in the Sand and figured that while he was there he would visit his other "son."

Tony nodded his head looking at Natasha as she just stared at the picture of Clint on Tony's phone.

"Yeah, dad said he's doing well out there," Tony replied still watching Natasha fixate on the picture on her screen.

Natasha looked at the phone, staring intently at the picture in front of her. He looked skinnier, somehow. His skin was tanner than when he left and he was sporting a goatee. She burned the image into her memory before passing it over to Jane who was sitting beside her catching the last bit of Tony's words.

"He even got himself a deployment fli-," Tony filled them in stopping when Pepper nudged him and subtly nodded in Natasha's direction. "Clint said he wished he got more care packages and he misses cookie dough."

They all laughed at the table, even Natasha knowing Clint's obsession with cookie dough. They never had a trip grocery shopping without picking up cookie dough when Clint was around.

Later, as the excitement died down and everyone were in their rooms, Natasha sat at the kitchen nook nursing a cup of tea staring down her phone as if she could telepathically connect it to Clint. She was so zoned out that she nearly jumped out of her bones when Pepper tapped her on the shoulder.

"Everything alright?" Pepper asked in one of Starks old rock band shirts and shorts.

"Yeah," Natasha said dismissing her fried. "Just couldn't sleep, that's all."

"You sure?" the older redhead asked. Pepper had noticed the change in Natasha since Clint left. The way that her appetite decreased exponentially and her mood. Natasha was never a social person to start with, but Clint's departure made her more widthrawn. She was unusually focused on school more so that she had already been, and was taking more and more shifts at work that they barely saw her.

"I'm fine, I promise."

"You talked to Clint at all?"

Natasha stiffened and shook her head. "Not since… not since before he left, not since the club."

Pepper's face scrunched in a frown. "You mean… the last day he was here?"

The younger woman nodded her head. "I… Well I apologized to him, but nothing. I haven't heard from him at all."

"You used to talk to him every day."

"I know."

"So what actually happened?" Pepper asked her. After Clint left, the girls tried to get the details from Natasha about what happened between herself and Clint but she wouldn't budge. Especially when she didn't fully understand what happened at the beach or at the club for Clint to basically ignore her.

Natasha shrugged. "I don't… I don't know. Has he talked to all of you?"

:"Yeah, I mean.. There's a group text, I always thought you were on the list. You barely reply to messages so it wasn't..." Pepper admitted. Clint had started a group text between the gang and since there were too many names their phones all displayed only a few with a drop down option of seeing everyone on the list. They all assumed that Natasha had been on the distro the whole time, apparently not.

"It's fine, Pepper," Natasha stated with a shrug. "I'm fine with it."

"You're clearly not fine with it if you're down here at half past two and you have class at seven," Pepper pointed out.

"It's not Clint that's bothering me… well it partially is, but there are bigger things that I need to think about."

"What do you mean? Like New York?"

Natasha nodded then sighed looking from her tea cup to Pepper. "Like New York… like this baby."

Pepper's mouth dropped.

"Baby?"

"I've tried talking to Clint, but he… If he wants out… I don't want him to know."

"It's Clint's?"

"Who else would it be?" Natasha questioned rhetorically. "Pep, I don't want him to know."

"Don't you think he has the right to?"

"He doesn't even want to talk to me!"

"Natasha-"

Natasha shook her head. "He wants out, here's his out. I don't want him talking to me because he feels obligated to. My child will not be a simple obligation, my child will be loved."

Pepper nodded her head, understanding but not agreeing.

"I'm trusting you with this secret. You can tell Maria and Jane. Nobody else, I don't want the boys to know. Promise this doesn't come out."

"I promise," Pepper said in a whisper. Then she smiled at Natasha sitting down beside her at the nook. "Will you keep a secret for me too?"

"Of course."

Pepper took stuck out her left hand with a grin. A large, elegant ring sitting on her ring finger.

"I'm engaged!"

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	5. Chapter 5

Thank you to everyone who reviewed the last chapter! It was good to know people are actually reading and enjoying the story! I hope you all like this chapter :)

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Chapter 5 - Separated: Clint

Six months down, six more to go.

Not that he was counting down, or anything. Clint could be depressive and say that he had nothing to look forward to but that was a lie. A house full of his greatest friends was something to look forward to. But he knew that when he came back, things would be different. Every deployment in the Sand took a piece of him and changed it. Everything he saw and experienced there changed how he looked at the world.

And then there was the issue of Natasha who was long gone in New York City, and according to a reliable source (Jane Foster), was living her life and loving the city.

Which to Clint meant that she was dating other people. And why shouldn't she? Natasha Romanoff was one of the (if not the) most beautiful woman he had ever laid his eyes on, complete with the fact that she was smart and had a great personality, she was a damn catch. There was no way in hell that she would be in the most populated city in the world and not find an equally successful, attractive, and overall great man to be by her side.

Why would she wait for a washed out Marine?

He didn't like to think about it but if there was something his time in the Marines taught it, it was to face the actual reality. And that was the reality of it.

Then, there was Tony and Pepper.

Was because they are now one person after getting engaged to be married in a month. If he didn't know better, he would have been convinced that it was a shotgun wedding with the way that they rushed the ceremony and the planning (but they could because, well Stark), and he did know better.

They did it for him. So that he could be a part of the wedding when he came back to LA for his two week R&R in a month. As the only people he considered family in the world, he was gladly going to go back to LA to see his friends. He, Steve, Thor, and Tony's friend from the lab named Bruce were going to be the groomsmen at the wedding.

He would never miss the day that Tony Stark threw his last party as a single man.

Clint shook his head, and out of habit, looked down at his phone and saw no messages.

It was odd to be on a deployment and not constantly text Natasha on his down time. His last three deployments he was texting her non-stop, making random conversation and sending her pictures of the funny things he could send her that wasn't classified. Mostly pictures of camels.

Now, his downtime was spent playing a game on his phone, or sneak away to the gym or play some pick up soccer with the other guys stuck in the Sand with him. Then he needed to fill out more time so he decided to take some online classes to get a second set of Masters, because he really needed to look competitive in the real world when, or if, he decided to leave the service.

Through it all, his fingers constantly itched to text her. He wanted ask her how she was doing and see if she was adjusting to New York. He had a million and one questions about her life, and mostly why she was so damn convinced that they were never going to work out when they spent the better half of four years dancing around, then becoming a label-less relationship.

Then there were times where he saw something that was hilarious and he just wanted to send her a Snap Chat about it. But he couldn't because… he forgot why but he was going to stick with it. It wasn't like she was making a valiant effort to contact him either. Yet, in their non-relationship he knew that she would never be the one to contact first because she was always afraid she was interrupting something important.

As time went by, the itch was so strong to contact her and ask her how she was that he started and finished a long, drawn out paragraph of a text message for Natasha that he couldn't get himself to hit the send button for. He didn't want to be the pathetic ex-whatever, because in reality, he didn't think Natasha even spared him a second thought anymore. Why should she? He was nothing. She was a bright and shining young woman who was beautiful and had her whole life head of her and what was he? Some Jarhead who happened to get great opportunities but knew nothing of where he was headed with his life. He didn't want to make it a career, he was going to be desked soon enough as he climbed the ranks and the best part to him was going out there in the action.

Clint tried to move on, Bobbi Morse who was his ex was running around deployed as well, a Captain in the Army. But he couldn't. True, he could play up the game like he did at the club before he left, but at the end of the night, he gave the pretty blonde a peck on the cheek and bid his farewells. He even told Pepper that he was seeing someone new who he met in the Sand because he didn't want to seem as though he was pinning for someone who didn't want him. He was a trained special operations Marine. He was damn sure better than someone who sits around pinning for a woman who was never his to begin with.

Still, that didn't stop him from hoping that Natasha would text him, ask him how he's doing and make him break his promise to talk to her. A fool's wish, really. Nevertheless, he wished that he could take it all back an talk to her, to make things less awkward for Tony and Pepper's wedding he was due to be at next week where he and Natasha were part of the bridesmaids and groomsmen.

He felt something hard hit him on the back of the head, his training instantly kicking in as he tucked himself for protection and took cover.

"Damn, finally!" Radell exclaimed walking up to him and offering him a hand to get off the sand. "Been shouting your name for a minute there man. Where the hell were you?"

"Hey man, sometimes I think," Clint defended with a smile. He reached for Radell's hand that was outstretched and let his sergeant help him get up from the floor.

"Yeah, Barton, I'll believe it when I see it!"

"Fuck man, did you have to hit that hard?"

"You want me to answer that question honestly, sir?" Radell asked with a chuckle.

Clint shook his head. "What did you need me for anyway?"

"The Major wants you. We got a new assignment. Wheels up in five hours."

"Five hours?"

"All the men have been debriefed. It's the big O's turn," Radell stated patting Clint on the back.

Clint shook his head walking up to his CO's tent making sure he looked at least a little more decent than he normally would.

"Sir, Captain Barton reporting as ordered," Clint said reporting with a salute.

"At ease, Captain."

He snapped to the position.

His CO continued. "You're up for a mission in five hours, I'm sure Radell has informed you…"

Clint blocked out all thoughts of anything else, including Natasha as he listened to his CO give him the details of the new mission he was supposed to lead.

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	6. Chapter 6

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Chapter 6 - R&R or Pepper and Tony's big Weekend

Tony and Pepper's big day(s).

They all hedged bets on whether or not it would happen with Tony's more than questionable past, but he actually made it happen. The gang was all there, including Natasha who flew back to LA from New York to be part of the wedding because of course she was the maid of honor. And in Tony fashion, Clint was made the best man.

The wedding itself was to be at the beach in Tony and Pepper's new home in Malibu. The reception was held in the tents outside as well and it seemed like all the world was invited. Though, nothing else would be expected from the son of a multi-billionaire. Howard insisted on paying for the whole thing much to Pepper's glee, because like Clint, she was a child of the system too. If they went by the tradition of the bride's family paying for the day, she would have Tony go to the justice of peace and call it a day.

Clint arrived a week before the wedding, as planned. He was there in time for a quick tux measurement to make sure that everything looked perfect. Then he was getting a call from Jane to be sure that he showed up at some restaurant for the dinner.

"What dinner?"

"Pepper and Tony are hosting a dinner," Jane stated. "It's tradition."

"Is there a color scheme?" Clint joked seeing as he had to wear some silver/gray tux to the wedding.

"No."

"Well uh, I have nothing but jeans and t-shirts here all my polos were in…"

There was a pause in the other line. "Natasha moved them all back in your room… when she moved to New York."

Clint looked around frowning. They weren't on his bed. He walked to the closet and opened it to find pressed polos hanging. "Found them."

"Great! We'll see you there? Should I send a car over?"

"Yeah, that would be great!"

Jane hung up the phone.

Clint played with the collar of his white dress shirt, trying to loosen the tie that was hanging down his neck as he walked into the restaurant that was "closed off" specifically for Tony and Pepper's pre-wedding reception with their friends.

"Clint! Your seat is over here!" Jane exclaimed pointing at the empty seat next to her, and of course, next to Natasha.

He made his way over to the seat a smile on his face. He couldn't help the natural reaction that seeing Natasha brought to him. She looked great, almost glowing to him.

"How are you doing, Jane?" Clint asked turning to Jane with a smile.

"Doing good," Jane replied with a smile. "You look good, things agreeing with you over there?"

Clint chuckled. "Well, I'm saving a lot of money. No take outs."

"That's good, anything for?" she inquired peering over at Natasha.

He shook his head. "Thought about leaving after this deployment. Gotta save up to start my own life you know? No more Uncle Sam to pay my rent."

She smiled at him, then nodded in understanding. "Good for you, Clint."

Jane turned away from him and back to Thor who was talking to her at the moment leaving Clint no choice but to turn to Natasha who had been semi-actively ignoring him.

"You look good," Clint started addressing Natasha. Natasha turned to face him, giving him a small smile and a nod as a reply. He sighed. He didn't know why he should have expected anything less especially with the way that he treated her – ignoring her and leaving her out of what he was doing with his life. A part of him screamed that it was only fair, all those times he spent (still spent) pining for her. He was used to a life in the system, where nobody wanted him, and part of the bitter child who always got passed up and passed around was still there.

"I'm sorry," Clint said trying again. She ignored him further.

"Natasha, please? Talk to me?" he tried again. "We're Tony and Pepper's best man and maid of honor. I think we owe it to them to be at least civilized."

"I am civilized," she muttered.

"I'm sorry, alright?"

She shook her head. "I need you to stop apologizing. I don't know what you're apologizing for."

He turned in his chair to face her, but she didn't face him. She was still turned to the table with a forced smile on her face. A smile that wouldn't seem forced to anyone at the table but himself, and the three ladies in the bridal team.

"I'm apologizing for not keeping in touch," Clint told her. "I'm apologizing for… for forcing myself on you."

Natasha closed her eyes and shook her head. "Don't you play this game with me. I am not a victim here."

Clint opened his mouth not knowing what to say.

"I'll be civil, be your friend. Don't act like you hurt me or my feelings," Natasha stated.

"Then why are you acting this way?" He asked confused and a little hurt but he couldn't understand why.

"What way?" she said coldly.

"Look, I'm done trying," he sighed turning to the table and awkwardly listening to the conversation at the dining table. A conversation that he could get into because the topic was, Tony Stark and his past escapades. Stories that he's heard over and over from the countless times spent drinking and bonding.

He shook away Natasha's reaction to him. He didn't know what to think, and there were more important things at the moment to worry about besides the fact that Natasha wanted to ignore him. For example, his best man speech that he knew if he screwed up, Pepper would disown him for.

On his way back, he sat thinking about the speech he would make, and specifically what he would say during the speech. His mind was a blank, it still is.

He shook his head and told himself he would put it off later. He had time, and he was great at thinking on spot anyway. At least he hoped that it was one of those times.

Clint saw Jane look over him at Natasha who for the first time he saw looked uncomfortable. Almost sick.

"Are you alright?" he asked her, his full attention on her.

"Fine," she brushed him off almost pulling her whole body away from him. He frowned.

"You don't look alright."

She chuckled. "Yeah, thanks. That's something I like to hear."

He looked at her, analyzing her body language with a frown. "You're…"

Natasha glared at him as a challenge. "I'm what?"

"Pregnant," Clint continued looking at her wide eyed. The top half of the table was silent as Jane, Maria, and Pepper looked at Natasha with a deer in the headlights look.

"You're pregnant?!" Tony exclaimed surprised that he missed the detail. This time the whole table quieted down looking at who Tony Stark was looking at.

"I…" Natasha stuttered not liking to be the center of attention. Ever.

The table looked at her, urging her on.

"I didn't want to take Pepper's thunder," Natasha said lamely. She turned to Pepper. "Sorry, Pep."

"It's alright," Pepper replied with a smile.

Natasha looked at the table to address them. "Yes, I'm expecting...Can we all… celebrate Pepper and Tony now?"

The table interrupted with noise again, except for those at the head table. Questions from the boys started (except Clint who thought that the less he knew, the better he would be).

"Who's the father?" "Do we need to beat him?" "Why isn't he here?" "Are you going to stay in New York?"

Natasha sighed. "This is exactly why I didn't want to tell you guys now, it's Tony and Pepper's weekend. Can we just… I don't know, talk about this some other time?"

"You're just buying time until you have to leave for New York and you don't have to explain anything to us."

Natasha opened her mouth to say something when Maria cut her off.

"She'll let us know the details when she's ready," Maria responded and the crew dropped it moving onto other things to talk about.

Clint sat stoic on his seat with a smile starting a conversation with Steve about a buddy of theirs that's also stationed in the Sand with him. Clint tried, he really did try to keep into the conversation but the whole thing with Natasha being pregnant got to him.

She always vowed that she never wanted a family, never wanted kids because of her mysterious past in Russia that Clint only knew bits and pieces about. But now, everything changed. She was there, pregnant, and only slightly showing, but she was glowing. She looked happy, at least.

He would bury all his feelings about the fact that Natasha had found someone else, that she was starting a family with someone else when she would not even let him take her out on a real date. Yet, if there was something that Clint Barton was used to, it was getting passed up by people and wishing they loved him.

The limo took the groomsmen and bridesmaids into two separate limousines to bring them to the planned Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. It was Tony and Pepper's final night as unmarried people and their friends were set to make it memorable.

In the men's car, the boys were popping champagne and Tony had his head sticking out of the moon roof of the limo as soon as they rounded the corner to separate from the other limo.

"Tony get your ass back down here and take shots with us!" Clint exclaimed pulling on his pant leg.

Tony crouched down. "Someone said something about shots?"

A double shot glass was thrust into his hand filled with… well he didn't really care at that point.

They toasted then threw their heads back to take the shot in one gulp, Clint coming up first and pouring himself another.

"Hey man, maybe you should slow down. Don't want you passing out before the night's over," Steve said putting a hand on Clint who switched the hand that was holding the shot and downed the next one.

"The lady he loves is pregnant by another man," Thor stated solemnly, throwing a sad glance at Clint. "In my opinion he can consume as much alcohol as he can."

Clint nodded his head. "Thanks for the reminder, buddy."

The rest of the guys glared at Thor and shook their heads. He looked down. "My apologies. I did not mean to remind you."

Clint chuckled shaking his head when Tony places his arm around Clint.

"Well it's a good thing that it's my bachelor's party! Stripper clubs and dance clubs! Oh and hot women all around! You'll get over her in no time!" Tony stated. Yes, he did plan his own bachelor party, so what? He knew where the places he wanted to hit up one last time as an unmarried man and nobody was complaining.

The limo stopped after a few minutes of the guys playing music and dancing stupidly as they took more shots, pregaming in the car, yet knowing there was more alcohol to consume that night. Steve, who barely drunk, knew he was going to be the responsible one to make sure that everyone made it to the wedding the next day.

They all piled out of the car, Tony leading them out and through the VIP area of the strip club.

"Gentlemen," Tony started standing in front of the guys at the VIP booth. "In honor of my last night as a single man, everyone gets free lap dances for the night!"

It was then that they started watching the strippers on the pole right in front of them, and Clint had already called over a stripper, stuffing the bills that Tony had passed out in the car to them.

"Don't waste it all on one person, buddy," Tony said patting him on the shoulder.

"I got this man," Clint responded lost in his own world, dazed in the alcohol he continued to sip on. He grabbed the hips of the strippers and ran his hands all over her body, missing the contact after months in the Sand where he had been living like a priest. He enjoyed the sensations of the woman's body forgetting al about Natasha and just living in the moment.

That was pretty much the last thing that Clint remembered until the pounding on his door woke him up the next day.

He walked over to the door opening it to Natasha standing there in a long dress that he could now see showed off her slightly full belly.

"You have two hours until the pre-wedding photos," she stated, her eyes peering past him and onto his bed, a flash of emotion passed her green eyes before she turned back to him. "You'll need to be ready and dressed in an hour and a half before Pepper comes and kills you with her bare hands."

"Yeah," Clint muttered running a hand through his face. "I'll uh, get on that."

She nodded her head and turned to walk down the hallway in the direction of the stairs. He frowned when he closed his door, turning back to his bed and realizing why Natasha had thrown him a look.

There was a naked woman on his bed.

"How the fuck did I miss that?" Clint muttered to himself with a sigh walking up to the bed and slowly shaking the woman awkwardly. He hasn't slept with anyone in years besides Natasha and honestly forgot the mannerisms for what he was supposed to do.

The woman turned to face him a confused look on her face. "Uh, hi. Shit. Did I stay the night?"

"Looks like it," Clint said with a smile.

"Shit," she muttered sitting up and wrapping herself up with Clint's sheets surveying the room for her clothes and throwing them on slowly. Clint watched her from the bed as she put her clothes on, opening his mouth and closing it not knowing what to say. So he just watched her. Long blonde hair, blue eyes, long legs, slim waist. She walked up to him all dressed and gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. "Thanks, I had a great time."

Clint nodded his head. "Hey, uh. Can I get your number? You know… in case…"

She smiled. "It's already in your phone, hot shot."

With that the nameless woman walked away leaving Clint sitting on his bed. He put boxers on and walked to the hallway where he could hear the commotion down the stairs, hearing Thor's voice booming loudly. He took a quick shower to make sure he was presentable and put on some relaxing clothes grabbing his tux in its protective cover from the hanger.

He walked down the stairs and saw Steve and Thor's piled on the couch so he threw his there as well. He walked to the dining room where he could hear them all.

"Look who decided to join the land of the living," Tony stated with a grin and a wink. "Great night last night?"

Clint groaned. "Just pass me a toast, will you?"

Steve passed him two pieces of toast and a glass of orange juice. "You just missed the ladies. Pepper sent them here to make sure we were up and ready."

"Yeah, Natasha came by my room," Clint stated munching on the toast.

"How did that go?" Steve asked him.

He shrugged. "When is the limo coming?"

"It's been waiting here for you to get up," Tony stated. "You done? You done yet? Coz I have to go and get married today."

Clint took the orange juice in one big gulp before placing it down and nodding his head. "Let's get you hitched, buddy."

The ceremony was quick, and not with a few tears from where Clint was standing. Although he saw Pepper as a sister to him, he had to admit she looked radiant and beautiful walking down the aisle.

"You're a lucky SOB," Clint muttered to Tony as Pepper walked down the aisle.

Tony grinned at him fixing his bow tie to make sure it's in place. "I know."

After that, it seemed like a blur and the next thing they knew they were all sitting at the reception laughing and eating.

Pepper and Tony had kissed more than ten times at the prompting of the crowd and they were more than happy to comply. While Clint never thought Tony would settle down, day 0, marriage looked good on him.

Clint looked down at his watch. Damn, it was half past the hour and it was time for his best man speech. The speech that he, shit, didn't really know.

"Wish me luck," Clint muttered to Thor who was sitting next to him at the table.

"May luck be with you," Thor told him with a pat on his back.

Clint stood up with the mike and cleared his throat. "Is this thing working?"

All of the guests looked around then up at him.

"I guess it is unless you all magically are just looking at me."

Soft laughter was heard from the crowd. Clint let out a sigh and wished he did lunges in the back beforehand.

"Well uh," Clint muttered looking down at his index cards.

- Love, commitment, relationship.

- Pepper = sister, Tony = Brother.

- Soul mates?

- Completing each other

He was drawing a blank.

Then he looked over at Natasha who looked at him with her beautiful green eyes and he felt the hurt he had been trying to avoid since he found out she was pregnant.

"There are people in your life, who, you know, is your complete opposite. Tony here is the chaotic one, unorganized, a genius, but he would lose his head if it wasn't attached to his body. And Pepper is… organized, she's level headed, she is in charge of the room whenever she walks into it, and not to mention one of the most beautiful people on the planet - both in appearance and personality. The complete opposite of Tony."

The guests laughed again as Tony's facial reaction showed one of faux hurt, a hand on his heart for emphasis.

"So even though they are almost nothing alike, they are perfect for each other. Soul mates aren't people who agree on every term. Otherwise, my soul mate would be a dog. We both like pizza. But a soul mate is someone who compliments your personality, fills out what you need to be one perfect person. It's someone who you love even though you are different and incompatible on paper."

He looked over at Natasha.

"Like letting them eat your tomatoes because they love it and you hate it," he stated. "Or letting them drag you to art shows because you need to get cultured. Or listening to each other's music and pretending to like it."

He shook his head from the thoughts of the redhead and focused instead on his friends.

"What I'm saying is, when I used to look for a soul mate, I used to look for someone who was exactly like me. So we can get along because that's what we learn when we're young, but Tony and Pepper has shown me otherwise. To Tony and Pepper, thank you for showing us what soul mates really are. May you both live happily ever after."

Clint stayed making eye contact with Natasha. She raised her glass up, filled with sparkling cider.

"To Tony and Pepper."

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	7. Chapter 7

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Chapter 7 - Hospitals

Two months. Two months have passed since Clint came back from Tony and Pepper's wedding, avoiding messages and emails his friends sent constantly checking up on him. . Tony and Pepper were still at the Caribbean two months later on their extended honeymoon. And, while his friends laid in the beach tanning, Clint was sitting on his cot, sharpening the blade of his folding knife.

A lot has changed between the time that he went back for R&R to the time when he came back to the Sand. First, off, tensions had risen on their post due to local hostilities that forced Clint to take everyday as if it was his last day on earth.

Just the other day, the whistles of the A-10 were a little too close for everyone's comfort.

Clint took unnecessary risks that while it saved lives and got the mission done, put him in danger and he didn't seem to find it in him to care. Seeing Natasha pregnant showed him that he didn't have anyone to go home to. Yes, he had his friends, but they had each had someone there for had Pepper, Thor (Donald) had Jane, Steve had Maria.

He didn't have a number one, not anymore. They all had a family with their significant other while he was going to go home to what? To who?

Clint started to get the ball rolling on getting out after his deployment. Before he left, he had applied to a couple of schools in the east coast for various Masters and Ph.D. programs. East coast schools, because he wanted to get closer to Natasha who was going to be in New York. At least that was the plan, Before everything went to hell and he ignored her and promised himself that he would move on.

So while he didn't move an inch. Natasha took leaps and strides. She was creating a family, and here he was sitting, sharpening his knife and thinking about how much he had relied on Natasha for a life outside of the military.

First rule of an orphan was to not get attached to anything or anyone.

He broke that rule.

Clint sighed and walked over to his computer, powering it up, tapping the edge of his knife against the wooden desk as the computer loaded up. It was time to check his emails, which he hasn't checked in a couple of days.

He scrolled through his email on his desk.

Spam.

Columbia

Spam.

Spam.

Spam.

NYU.

Spam.

- wait what?

He clicked open the NYU email.

"We are sorry to decline you admissions to our…"

He sighed. NYU had been one of his dream schools. Imagine an orphan, circus boy, getting into NYU.

Well, he didn't.

Just another mark on the list of things that didn't go right for him. (Natasha's name was pretty much on top of it, right there with Barney's name, and his parents.)

He opened the email from Columbia not expecting anything from it.

"We are happy to inform you…"

"Hell yes!" Clint exclaimed pumping his fist in the air. He read through the email scrolling down some more and seeing that he was able to use his GI bill with the school and therefore would not be paying tuition. Good, because while he got paid a decent amount, there was no way he could afford Columbia.

"What's going on?" Mayes asked as he walked into the office seeing Barton with a giant grin on his face. "You got some nudies?"

Clint shook his head. "Got in Columbia for that degree."

"What the hell you gonna be?" Mayes asked skeptical. Barton was one of them, a career man. They all saw Barton as one of the guys who were more than likely going to give up his life for his country, an honorable feat. While getting degrees was a way to get up the chain of ranks, none of the sergeants expected Barton to even want to move up with the potential of getting out of the field.

"Gotta get my MBA," Clint stated.

"What the hell for? You- oh hell. You leavin' the service?"

"Getting out as soon as the paperwork is filled after this deployment."

Mayes shook his head. "You got a woman back home making you do this?"

Clint shook his head, trying to fight the frown that he knew his face was going to default to.. "I don't have anything, that's why I'm doing this."

"Yeah, right Barton," the elder man shook his head. "We'll talk about this later. Came here to tell you we need to be out in 15 minutes, gear is loaded. We're being called in."

"Let's go," Clint said nodding his head and pulling on his tac gear following the sergeant out of the door and onto the Humvee waiting for them. Crew all around signaling them to go quickly. "Thought you said in fifteen?"

"This is a class-E. We need to go now!"

One of the men started taking off in a run. Clint and sergeant followed suit going into the Humvee that they were ushered to.

"What the hell is happening?"

"We don't know," the other guys in the Humvee shrugged.

And like a scene from a movie, everything flashed white.

Clint's ears began ringing, and he lost all senses.

Everything was just white.

Queens, New York

Natasha Romanoff waddled. She didn't think what she did constituted walking anymore. At her third trimester in the long and lonely pregnancy, she was used to waddling around her apartment. Especially when her phone was ringing and she was in the other room. She just hoped she got there before whoever was on the other line hung up, because she didn't feel like playing phone with whoever that was that decided to call.

Must be important since nobody in the day and age made phone calls anymore. Emails and text messages? Yes. phone calls? No.

Finally, she reached the phone, frowning at the strange set of numbers on the screen.

"Hello?" she asked picking up the phone trying to detect the voice on the other side.

"Is this Miss Natasha Romanoff?" the strange voice on the other side asked her.

Natasha frowned. "Yes, this is she."

"Ma'am, this is Lance Corporal Smith, I am calling about a Captain Clinton Barton, you are listed as his next of kin, will you please confirm that you know this man?"

Natasha's heart dropped. She racked her brain for a reason for why they would be contacting the next of kin. While she is pissed as hell at Clint, angry and hurt, she didn't want him to die. She had always dreamt that her child would meet him someday but… now…

Besides, didn't they knock on your door to tell you if they died?

That's what all the movies say, at least.

"Yes," she stuttered. "Yes I know him."

The man on the other line sighed. "We are calling to let you know that he is being med-evaced to Germany, more than likely he will be placed at Bethesda afterwards."

"What happened?"

"I don't have all the information ma'am, but he finally is out of critical condition so we were advised to contact the family that he will live."

That he will live.

"Was he dying?" she choked out.

"He was touch and go for a while ma'am, which is why we did not contact you sooner. We did not want to give you hope if there was none," the man admitted.

"When… when is he getting to Bethesda?"

"He is getting transported today to Frankfurt. He will be there for over night testings and should be at Bethesda in about three days time."

Natasha sighed, steeling herself. "Is that all?"

"Yes, ma'am. I"m sorry I don't have better news. Have a good day."

"You too."

With that she hung up the phone and placed it on the counter just looking at it. She came so close to losing him forever. Not just losing him like she already has, but not even seeing him on the spontaneous gatherings that the gang has, she wouldn't be able to see him grow old or see how her child looked and acted like him because she would forget.

If she were honest with herself she had already started to forget.

For what seemed like hours, Natasha debated whether or not she could travel and take off to Bethesda to see Clint. And while she would have loved to, she had to go to work every single day in order to make ends meet especially with her child coming. While the gang brought her gifts during their spontaneous baby shower and Pepper helped her buy most of the furniture for her child, she vowed to herself that she would pay Pepper back when she could. Having a child was not cheap, it was the complete opposite actually, and she didn't know if she would be able to cope with it.

She picked up the phone and dialed Steve's number.

"Rogers."

"Hey Steve, it's Natasha."

"Natasha?" Steve answered surprised. "Is everything alright? Is the baby coming? I'm going to call Tony and -"

"No, Steve. It's Clint."

There was a pause on the other line.

"Was he part of the Humvee attack?" Steve asked quietly, she could hear him leaving the room. Assuming that he was in the room with Maria and he didn't want her to hear and worry. "Is he alright? I know that was his division."

"I- I don't know for sure. Someone called me and said they were taking him to Bethesda. I.. I can't go," Natasha stated. "I can't travel with my due date in two weeks."

"I'll request leave," Steve said. "Would you like me to call Tony and Pepper while you call Thor and Jane?"

She nodded her head before realizing that Steve can't see her. "Yes. That would be great Steve. Thank you for helping me."

"Are you alright, Natasha?"

"Will you let me know how he is? What's wrong with him? They didn't tell me on the phone."

"I'll let you know as soon as I know. I'll talk to you later?"

"Yeah."

Natasha sat on her couch after calling Jane and Thor to let them know what was happening with Clint. She was texting Pepper and Maria who assured her that the four of them were on their way to Bethesda to find out what was happening with Clint. Tony offered to fly Natasha but she refused not wanting to be in the way, and ultimately afraid that Clint would not want to see her.

She stayed up all night long waiting by the phone for another phone call. Any phone call to tell her how Clint was, and that he got to the hospital safe but nobody called. It was past noon the next day that her phone buzzed, and Natasha felt herself wake up not knowing how she even slept sitting down.

"Hello?"

"Hey Tasha, it's Pepper."

"Is everything alright?"

"They're putting him into surgery now," Pepper responded on the phone. "they said it could take up to 6 hours."

"Six hours?!"

"He uh, his ear drums and his eyes, Natasha."

The redhead choked a sob. "Did they sound hopeful?"

"They sounded like doctors," Pepper responded making Natasha roll her eyes.

"Pepper…"

"I'll call you again if we have an update. You hang in there alright?"

"Yeah," Natasha sighed.

"And take care of my little god-child."

"I will."

Five hours and fifty nine minutes.

That was how long Natasha was sitting next to the couch. She had gotten up many a times to pee but that was all she did/. She munched on some food here and there but her mind was too occupied with worried about Clint that she was pretty sure she had a stress headache from it. That accompanied with constant pain from her stomach that she kept dismissing.

Until she felt a gush of water between her legs.

Her water broke.

Clint woke up in a daze. He had bits and pieces of what happened, but all he could see was the bright white light on top of him.

He felt around him to see where he has, coming to the conclusion that he was in the hospital. Clint squinted his eyes and looked around for the button to get help. He pressed it and moments later, a pile of people silently came into the room.

He paused seeing Tony's mouth go a mile a minute and frowned.

"I can't hear you," Clint muttered as the doctors and nurses fuzzed around him and he saw his friends, Steve and Maria, and Tony and Pepper, standing there watching and waiting for the doctors.

"What was that Captain?" the doctor asked him.

Maria and Steve looked at each other as Clint's lips constantly moved to state that he couldn't hear.

"He says he can't hear," Maria whispered. The cluttering and movement in the room immediately ceased.

The doctor only nodded his head. "We were afraid of the damage to his ears when we saw it but wouldn't have known for sure until after he woke up. We'll have to bring him in for a quick fifteen minute hearing test."

They all nodded their heads.

"Can we have a moment alone with him before you take him away?" Pepper asked the doctor who looked hesitant so she added a "please."

"You will have about five minutes while I call down to the testing facility and get them prepped for him," the doctor replied.

Pepper smiled at him with a thank you while he ushered the medical team out of the room. Only then did they all step up to be at his side, Pepper taking his hand. This was one of the first times in all the years that they've known him that Clint looked absolutely petrified.

"Am I deaf?" Clint asked in a loud voice, unaware of his tone, or the sounds around him.

Tony took out his phone and typed for him. "They're going to take you to testing."

Clint nodded his head. "So I am deaf, fuck."

Maria took out her phone and typed her own message. "We'll be here for you every step of the way."

Clint chuckled shaking his head. "Where am I?"

"Bethesda," Steve quickly answered before forgetting that Clint wouldn't be able to hear him. But Clint nodded his head, used to reading lips on missions.

"Right, so it's that bad they had to ship me back?" Clint asked Steve who, out of everyone in the room, knew about the workings of the military.

Steve only replied with a head nod. "IED got you."

"My team?"

"You're the only one lucky enough to survive," Maria typed out for him, followed by "I'm sorry."

Pepper squeezed his hand as Clint's eyes shut in desperation. "Yeah, right. Lucky."

"There are things you have to live for," Pepper spoke into her phone to auto-type and showed it to Clint.

The man on the hospital bed shook his head and breathed a sigh trying to get his composure.

"Thanks for coming out here, but can I have a moment alone?" Clint asked them looking at all of them in the eye. "I need to be alone."

Pepper nodded her head, giving her hand a squeeze, and smiled. "Of course."

Steve and Tony patted his arm as Maria gave him a head nod.

_Deaf._

That was what he was, he didn't need to get tested to know that he couldn't hear. He certainly didn't need to know that his hearing would deem him un-commissionable and put him in early medical retirement. He has seen it happen to soldiers more than once, he just never thought it would happen to him. He figured that he wouldn't be one of the survivors, he would be the one to jump on top of the grenade to protect his men who had families at home. Survivor's guilt. He could feel it consuming him. All his troops were dead, some of those men had families and children who looked forward to them coming home each time. He had vowed to keep them safe, even just to himself and he failed.

He closed his eyes and made another vow. He would make sure that he attended each and every service, pay respects to the men who gave their all to their country, regardless fo what the general population thought of soldiers, regardless of what the general public thought about the war.

Clint clenched his fists in frustrations.

Then let out a scream.

At the same time that miles away in New York City, a newly born baby girl let out her first scream.

* * *

Reviews please!

(I am changing what I had already written down for this story in the following chapters, so I'm open to suggestions!)


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